Hello, Dr Death
by Droce
Summary: A bunch of Mikoto-centric drabbles, updated whenever inspiration strikes.
1. Hey,

As it goes, _Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei_ does not belong to me, nor do any of its characters.

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><p>I.<p>

"Mikoto, Mikoto, Mikoto, Mikoto, Mikoto, Mikoto, Miko-" Why was Nozomu so damn annoying, and at this early?

"_What." _The man who was studying to be a doctor looked up, glaring through his glasses.

"Let's go-" Goddamn, and he was jumping like a squirrel on drugs.

"I already told you we're not." He needed to study, he was going to graduate University at 19 and fucking shine.

"To _Disneyland_-" Nozomu was acting like a four-year-old.

"Kei, tell Nozomu to _shut up already." _Mikoto hissed, rubbing his temples.

"…I want to go to Disneyland, too, Mikoto." The artist admitted, grinning.

"Then why won't you take him?"

"But Mikotooooooo, it's not the same without you!" Nozomu whined.

"And Rin?" They'd surely take Rin.

"She's at a friend's house for the weekend." Kei said.

"Mikoto, let's go to _Disneylaaaand!"_ Nozomu was clinging to Kei, jumping still, smiling and rambling about what they'd do at Disneyland. "Mikoto, it's _Disneyland! _We have to go, We have to go-"

"_Just shut the fucking shut the fuck up and we'll go, good fucking god." _

Mikoto had to smile.

He'd never seen his younger brother look happier.

II.

Mikoto wasn't easily surprised, but this was new.

To see both of his brothers and his nephew in his waiting room, with balloons and presents, a cake put out on the table. The nurse must have let them in before opening, surely. She'd probably run out to get something, like she always did, every year, without fail.

When he walked in, he couldn't help but smile at the cheer they gave him.

_Happy birthday, Mikoto._

III.

He had to admit, his brother looked _adorable_ in drag. He pulled it pretty damn well.

Nozomu was red-faced and fidgeting while Kei and Mikoto were stifling their laughter.

"_You two,"_ he started through gritted teeth, "You two owe me fifty."

"Oh, sorry about that, Nozomu," Kei started between guffaws.

"We don't have any money on us," Mikoto finished before bursting into full-our laughter.

Nozomu's face was a look of utter horror before yelling out that age-old phrase-

"_You've left me in despair!"_


	2. Doctor,

I don't own Sayonara, Zetsubou Sensei.

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><p><strong>I.<strong>

Mikoto stared at his brother who, in return stared back.

"Let's go to Disneyland, Mikoto." Nozomu stated, his tone utterly serious, almost solemn.

"Let's stay home and watch Doctor Who." Mikoto replied, his tone dead and a smirk on his mouth. Nozomu pouted, puffing his cheeks and succeeding in his impersonation of a chipmunk. (That was what he was going for, wasn't it?)

"But _Mikoto!" _The boy huffed, indignant. "Last time we went, you just sat around and _read books. _Hell, you threw a book at Mickey Mouse!"

Mikoto glared. "He tried to take my book and take a picture." Mikoto hated pictures of any sort and they really did irritate him.

"He was trying to get you to _cheer the flying fuck up!"_ Nozomu stamped his foot. Really, for a fifteen-year-old, he was acting like five-year old child.

"And I'm trying to get you to _shut the flying fuck up."_ Mikoto hissed, gritting his teeth. It wasn't even ten in the morning, and Nozomu was already deciding to annoy him to insanity. "We are staying home. We are watching Doctor Who. _Do you understand."_ It wasn't a question; it was a command.

The tone he was using screamed _If you keep this up, I will personally get you high on morphine and cut your balls off and you won't remember shit. _But no, Nozomu, being Nozomu and dense as hydrogen solid, didn't get it and continually pressed on with his wish to go to Disneyland.

"Mikotoooooooo! Kei doesn't want to take me, and Rin said Disneyland is for little kids!" Whining and pulling at his lab coat wasn't exactly convincing him to go.

"It is, Nozomu. Haven't you figured that out yet?" Mikoto sighed, rubbing his temples. "And Rin's barely ten, Nozomu, do you not get that yet?" Adjusting the lab coat, he sat back.

"…If we can't go to Disneyland, I want to watch Disney movies. _All day today." _The younger huffed, his hair fluffing appropriately to the movement.

"…Today is a Doctor Who marathon. If you do, I will personally kill you." Mikoto growled, a look of venom on his face.

Nozomu whimpered. His obsession with Disneyland was utterly tiring, and it was pitiful to watch him throw an utter temper tantrum at not being allowed to go.

…What choice did he have but to agree?

**II.**

The air conditioner was on again, too high and it was freezing.

The nurse knew how to turn it on, how to adjust it and turn it off, but she never told Dr. Itoshiki anything about it, did she?

No.

And now, here he was, in his office, shivering like a bitch in the middle of the summer, when it was over a hundred degrees outside. How wonderful and utterly irritating. She just had to pick these days to go on vacation, didn't she, with her horrible timing? Of course she did, and she was off in some foreign country, enjoying her vacation.

He heard something, the door open and the bell, but ignored it entirely. Maybe he could go and sleep. Or just go home. The tap-tap-tap of footsteps- no doubt it was that one boy, the one who made all sorts of perverse jokes, the one that would come over every day after school to bother him, no doubt.

"Hey there." Haga spoke simply, pulling out a chair, sitting behind the Doctor.

"If you're here to patronize me, fuck off." Mikoto muttered, wanting to sleep, rather than wait for patients or guests.

"No can do, _Doctor." _Haga said, his tone haughtier than what it should be, addressing a doctor, of all people. Perhaps he was becoming too familiar to the man. "You're more of a grump than you usually are."

Leave it to Captain Obvious to save the day.

"Really now." Mikoto deadpanned, letting his head hit the desk with a soft _thump. _"I'm only freezing here, and the air conditioner is ungodly cold. Not that I have any idea how to turn it off." He scoffed, staring at the floor.

He pondered this for a few minutes. A few minutes more before he brightened and snapped his fingers with the idea. "I could give you some spare blankets! I mean, they're just lying around the house, and nobody really uses them. They're not needed, so it's beneficial for both of us." He seemed rather pleased with this.

Mikoto didn't expect that, to say the least of it, and thought about it. He'd swallow his pride before he got himself sick with something absurdly stupid. With a hesitance, he sat back in his chair, sighing. "I suppose, if it wouldn't be too much of a bother. You really don't have to, you know."

"Great, then, I'll bring them tomorrow!" The boy chirped, rather satisfied with this outcome. With that, he surprised the doctor by throwing his arms around the man, pressing his cheek to his, and skipping out, leaving the Doctor only slightly confused as to what the fuck just happened.

**III.**

It wasn't that hard to hate fried chicken.

It wasn't hard to hate puppies, either.

Nor was it hard to hate how utterly_ chatty _Nozomu could get.

Sometimes, he just wouldn't talk at all.

Other times, he just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"..And then Abiru was like ,'Fried chicken tails, bitch,' and Kafka was like 'Fucking fried alien tails, you tail fetishing-''"

"Nozomu, I don't want to hear about your students. They irritate me enough on the occasions I've encountered them." Mikoto sighed, flipping the page of his novel.

"Fuck off, my story," Nozomu said before continuing, "And then Chiri was like, 'If you're going to eat chicken, do it right,' and then Kaede was all, 'They fucking worship fried chicken where we come from,' and everyone else was like, 'Just shut the fucking motherfucking shut the fuck up,' and then she was bitching about how she was going to sue and then people were bitching about why they didn't get any fried chicken and yeah."

How Nozomu kept so much air in his lungs, he didn't know.

"Fried chicken tastes horrible." Mikoto stated, shrugging. "You really haven't changed since I moved out, have you?"

"I have too!" Nozomu insisted, pouting.

"Not in the least."

"I so have!"

"You still make that face."

"What face!"

"You look like a fat rodent."

"I am not fat! I'm not a rodent- wait, what kind of rodent? Is it cute?"

Mikoto just laughed.

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><p><strong>AN: **I actually updated, like whoa.

I like to think that Teenage!Nozomu was insanely annoying and obsessed with anything Disney or Disneyland. Don't ask why, he just is.

And that Mikoto is just a douche, teenager or not. ;;;; But a douche in a very tsundere way

I hope you like it! c:

Reviews make me happy.


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